I feel empty as I am forced to say goodbyes to these little ones that I have given my full heart to. They hug me not knowing why I hold them close for just a moment longer. They don’t understand why tears are running down my face but they just smile and keep chattering. To them this is just another day in which I hold and love them. But I can no longer deny that this is the end. I know as I hug them that this is the last time to hold them tight, last time to whisper I love you my little one. And so I linger, one more hug, one more moment.
Oh my Lord, I can’t do it. I play this scene over and over trying to find some peace in saying goodbye. Maybe I can trick my heart into believing I will see them the next day, “no heart, you don’t have to say goodbye just yet”. Maybe it can be fooled. Maybe I won’t have to feel this pain.
But if I do…Lord please give me the strength to heal.
Will they be remembered?
Will I remember…
Remember their names?
Remember their eager faces?
Remember the feel of their hand in mine?
Remember the weightlessness of their body in my arms?
Remember the sound of their voices calling my name?
Remember the unending love they offered me?
Remember the tears I cried over the loss of even one innocent child?
Remember the unmarked graves where they are laid to rest?
Or will I forget…
Forget to tell their stories?
Forget the sound of their laughter?
Forget the feel of their arms around my neck?
Forget the sickness and death I have seen?
Forget the piercing pain I have felt?
Forget the love I have experienced?
Forget the prayers I have promised?
Time has a way of dulling the ache and offering healing…but will time also wash away my memories of the love and pain so intertwined in the country of
3 comments:
You've given your heart to God and to the people of Uganda, my friend. You've endured sorrow and experienced joy. None of us know exactly what you have experienced or exactly how you feel, but God knows, even better than you. He alone knows your immense hurts and your abounding joy. My friend, I pray that God will give you the comfort that only His presence can give.
And I'll try to be available too:0) Let me know how I can help.
For sure the work Katy is doing is really blessed from God and i wish
I start the same job Katy
FOR SURE KEEP IT UP I SUPPORT YOUR WORK BY PRAYING FOR YOU I LOVE YOU KATY
Post a Comment