Katy in Africa

Here to Stay

2008-07-15T16:42:00.003-07:00

As I danced among the waves late last night on a barren beach, I was hit with the reality that I am back to stay. This summer is not just a long vacation and I will not soon be heading home to Uganda. I literally stumbled and fell on the beach as this realization hit my heart. My head has known all along but my heart always lags behind.

Week after week of military training has begun to wear me down to the core. I anxiously look forward to the end. But at the end, I will just move on to one more couch, borrowed bed. I miss my own home. My little cottage in Uganda where I could escape too.

As I played with my nephews this weekend, my arms ached to be holding my African babies so far away. Often people ask if I have someone who updates me on how the babies are doing....I don't. As much as I long to hear about each one, I know that it would just kill me to know that anything has happened to them. I confess to wanting to live in a fairytale of pretending nothing there will change while I am gone. I don't want to know if one has died or if more have joined the babies home.

I could write endlessly. My head and heart seems to journey further away each day. I am overwhelmed and sinking with all that I have yet to deal with and grieve. I feel myself pulling away from everyone around me. I see it happening and yet don't know how to stop it. I want to scream at each one who complains, gossips, worries over little things....and yet I find myself getting pulled into these old ways. I don't know how to hold tight to Africa and still plug myself back into life here.

Arriving State Side

2008-05-14T22:12:00.002-07:00

Well, I left Uganda on May 15th and arrived in JFK on May 16th. The first thing I noticed was on the drive home, most cars had one maybe two passangers. For those of you in Africa, you know that a car would never leave until it was over flowing with at least 9 people in a four door, 12 people in a jeep, and 26 people in a truck. One of many differences I would notice in the first day back.

Toilets, showers, and carpet are luxuries that I had no problem re-adjusting too.

I struggled with jet leg for the first three days home. Went to bed around 1930 and would wake up at 0400. I spent two days at up in New York unpacking and organizing everything. I then got back on a plane to fly to DC where I have been staying for the past week.

Today marks a full week back in the states. I don't have words of wisdom to share. And I am not quite sure what emotions I am battling with. While my mind is constantly back in Uganda, I am enjoying the days here. I have spent the past week excercising and spending down time just preparing my heart for this new direction/focus. I am getting excited to jump into the whirl wind of visiting friends and family. Thanks for your patience with me.

I will be sending out an update real soon!

Jump On In

2008-05-13T12:10:00.003-07:00

Hold on! Hear comes the 'flying squirrel' falls! I talked my mom into white water rafting down from the source of the Nile River. It was an intense experience. There were class five falls with a few smaller ones. We got on the water at 0830 and didn't get off until 1630.

I soon realized after the first fall that it is more fun to be outta the boat as we proceed down the falls then in it. They tried to convince me that the goal was to make it thru the fall without tipping or falling out of the boat. I was not convinced - before we even got to the rapids I jumped.
The thrill of it gave me such a high. The power of the waves would suck my body under with a terrifying force. If you fought it then it would take that much longer to surface. I remember being whipped around and just smiling under the water as I relaxed and raced down the Nile.

My mom was hard corps and hung in there with us. The only downer was at certain points we weren't allowed to jump over to swim because of the crocodiles but over all - SWEET!

Charging Chimps

2008-05-11T23:39:00.003-07:00

We woke early to begin our Indiana Jones adventure to find the hidden community of chimpanzees. Racing in the brisk morning air, we arrived in just enough time to catch public transportation to Kibale National Forest. Crowding nine people into a small car, we sat on top of each and held our breath as a nice body aroma filled the car. Our guide was waiting for us at the entrance of the trail; he smart fully had on rubber boots. After a mini lecture where he instructed us to not make mimicking noises of the monkeys because we won’t know what we are saying to them…we began our journey.

Within the first ten minutes, I of course stopped right in a red ant hill and started to dance as they bit me. Definitely see where the saying “ants in the pants” come from. This did not distract us from our hunt for chimps though I was a bit uncomfortable. About 35 minutes into our search we came across a friendly quite large chimpanzee! He didn’t seem at all impressed with these noisy tourists following behind him. We tracked through the under bush behind him as he led us to the community of chimpanzees.

Upon our arrival at the community, we were greeted by the second in command as he came charging at us. My mom quickly grasped my arm as he let loose with high pitched screams of terror; I am still trying to perfect just how he sounded to demonstrate for you. He pounded on the tree trunks as he headed our way. Our guide told us to stand our ground and sure enough he charged right past us into the midst of relaxing chimps who quickly scattered at his display of authority. Phew quite thrilling.

After about three hours we were ready to head back. The chimp and I kissed and we departed with no hard feelings. (ps. Aunt Jenn this is not a real chimp unlike that real elephant before. hehe)

The Arrival of Mom

2008-05-11T23:25:00.002-07:00

After many days of anxiously awaiting the arrival of my mom, she is finally here in Uganda with me. It is such a thrill to have her here and be able to show her a part of what my life has been like. She packed all her tourist tools including binoculars and a safari hat which is great cause for teasing. The camera has become a permanent extension of her hand. At 130 pictures a day, it is fun to see Fort Portal thru her eyes.

She was quite shocked when she realized my toilet REALLY was a hole in the ground and that toilet paper was scarce. The lizards and rats haven’t seemed to bother her too much; though the rooster crowing constantly around midnight has heightened her dislike of roosters. I just chuckle and sleep right thru.

She has been quite the trooper so far – as we walk all over the village and national forest. She figures between all the walking, hills, and squatting over the hole that she will have great calf muscles when she returns home. With her arrival, it also signals the end of my time here in Uganda. It is as if my home life is now slowly creeping back and invading my life in Africa. It is a balancing act to work thru the excitement of going home among all the sadness of leaving. Today is my last day in Fort Portal (my home here) and tomorrow we will be off to be tourists in Uganda. It will be an opportunity for us to spend five days just seeing all the sites and having a good time. I will post as we travel.

Head Ache?

2008-05-05T02:16:00.002-07:00

You think you have problems? This guy had a head full of problems...haha. Yes, I am too corny but this pictures was too good to not post. Welcome to the meat market of Uganda.

The Porcupine

2008-05-05T02:01:00.004-07:00

“Mooomm! Nathan is touching me! He is on my side of the car!” While Americans have this invisible two foot bubble that marks their personal space, I have always had a bubble four feet wide. My family can testify to my dislike of hugs, cuddling, unnecessary touching. I have long struggled to demonstrate my love to those who derive their love from physical displays of love. Jokes on me, I was sent to Uganda.

I offered my hand to the first Ugandan I met to give a friendly hand shake – he didn’t let go. As he greeted me and continued to ask about my journey my eyes were glued to his hand still holding onto mine. My heart started pounding, I heard nothing he was saying as I kept asking myself, “why is he still holding my hand, this is awkward, why won’t he let go”. Little did I know this was the first of many attacks that would be made on Katy’s Personal Bubble.

I began to pray daily that God would help me adapt to this cultural where you hugged twice before letting go, you stood to talk with shoulders touching if not mere inches separating your faces, hand holding was as common among girl friends as it was between men. Then a Ugandan explained, “we are can not be private in our lives but we are private with our minds”. They live anywhere from 7-12 people per small compound, privacy is not an option.

As time went on, I realized how true this statement was for most Ugandans at least in their interaction with foreigners especially. While they are always willing to share their money problems they are less likely to share personal struggles. The women would never come and share about the beatings they received at home, the hours they work and the toll it is taking on their bodies, the anger they feel at being raped and given aids, the grief over loosing yet another child to starvation or sickness. The children would never tell of the hunger they feel, how their parents can’t afford to send lunch with them to school, of the responsibility they have for their six younger siblings, of witnessing their father drunkenly abuse his family, of the shame they feel when kicked out of the classroom because they have not paid their school fees. When asked how they are, a scripted line ‘I am fine’ will be recited for their audience.

While I cringed at being constantly touched and the lack of physical space, I was brought to the realization that in this other area I had no problem fitting in. Katy the porcupine. I value my physical space just as much as I value the privacy of my mind and heart. As my frustration grew at the lack of intimate friendships here, God opened my eyes to reveal myself in them.

How can there be a friendship if we are both unwilling to share what is in our minds and heart? I was so eager to hear their struggles but guarded to sharing any of mine. I was unwilling to sacrifice and share what was on my heart because that was just too uncomfortable. I look back at my relationships in America and shamefully see this pattern thru out most of them.

Maybe it is a culture difference, maybe it is just me. But I pray that I will learn to live with an open heart to all those around me. Pray that this porcupine will become a little less guarded to those who have shown her so much love.

My Haven of Love & Pain

2008-04-26T06:33:00.002-07:00

I feel empty as I am forced to say goodbyes to these little ones that I have given my full heart to.

They hug me not knowing why I hold them close for just a moment longer. They don’t understand why tears are running down my face but they just smile and keep chattering. To them this is just another day in which I hold and love them. But I can no longer deny that this is the end. I know as I hug them that this is the last time to hold them tight, last time to whisper I love you my little one. And so I linger, one more hug, one more moment.

Oh my Lord, I can’t do it. I play this scene over and over trying to find some peace in saying goodbye. Maybe I can trick my heart into believing I will see them the next day, “no heart, you don’t have to say goodbye just yet”. Maybe it can be fooled. Maybe I won’t have to feel this pain.

But if I do…Lord please give me the strength to heal.

Will they be remembered?

Will I remember…
Remember their names?
Remember their eager faces?
Remember the feel of their hand in mine?
Remember the weightlessness of their body in my arms?
Remember the sound of their voices calling my name?
Remember the unending love they offered me?
Remember the tears I cried over the loss of even one innocent child?
Remember the unmarked graves where they are laid to rest?

Or will I forget…
Forget to tell their stories?
Forget the sound of their laughter?
Forget the feel of their arms around my neck?
Forget the sickness and death I have seen?
Forget the piercing pain I have felt?
Forget the love I have experienced?
Forget the prayers I have promised?

Time has a way of dulling the ache and offering healing…but will time also wash away my memories of the love and pain so intertwined in the country of Uganda?

Last Day before Exams

2008-04-16T03:17:00.006-07:00

Yes, this is just one of my classes - P3. Aiyay, it doesn't feel this big in class but looking at this photo it seems as if there are so many! Today was our last day of classes before we begin end of term exams.

Smiles All Around

2008-04-11T03:32:00.010-07:00

Yes, even with the heart ache that I write about – a day does not pass without my heart racing in excitement. I write about the struggles and forget to shout about the triumphs, the laughter, the smiles!

I get my daily dose of medicine when I hear the children giggle, the babies chuckle, and see the simple smiles of joy from strangers.

Don’t forget to enjoy life today – smile!

Guardian Angels

2008-04-11T03:09:00.006-07:00

Prishilla, my first adopted baby, is very sick please pray. She has HIV and also tuberculosis. She is the first baby I held when I arrived day one at the babies home. I love to tease her and call her princess because once she is in my lap she hates to share me with the other children. She is extra skinny and can’t walk but she is so beautiful when she smiles as I sing “you are my sunshine” or “the itsy bitsy spider”. They switched her medication last week and her body is struggling to adjust. She has lost weight she didn’t have, throws up if we try and feed her, and today could barely lift her arms to be held. I laid and rocked her tiny body praying to God to give me her pain. It was like holding a space heater close to my chest as the heat radiated from her body. Guardian angels stand strong around my baby’s bed tonight please.

Living in the Moment

2008-04-09T05:22:00.002-07:00

Ever know that there is something wrong, you are upset but can’t quite pin-point why exactly?

Hints of goodbye linger in the air here. I can feel the pressure of that word – goodbye – closing in tightly. Moving around often should qualify me as an expert at saying goodbye, but as many of you know, great lengths will be made on my part to avoid the scene of farewell.

I am feeling the tiny strings from the real world hooking into my skin and slowly dragging me back. As I struggle to plan my few weeks off (in the states) before reporting to training, my breathe catches and I shake my dizzy head. Will I be ready to jump back in immediately or will I seek solitude to slowly re-adjust?! At this point, I have no clue.

I am slipping back into the fast paced river of life....whoa slow down! As I went for my run yesterday, I paused to just take a breath and look around me. To remember how amazing it is that God has brought me to this wonderful country of Uganda. To live my last weeks here with my thoughts, emotions, and heart focused on my work in Uganda.

My Heart is Screaming

2008-04-02T00:09:00.002-07:00

My heart feels so weary, my emotions so raw, I want to walk away from this pain, this heart ache. Not just walk away – run, run as fast as I can. And yet, I draw closer and embrace it.

No no no no no God not this baby, not this one. I loved this one so much. WHY?! If I could have just had one more day to hold, hug, kiss, love him!

I take comfort in knowing that he is with you in a much better place but oh God why did you have to take him so soon? It hurts so much that tears fail to fall, as if they are trapped in the moment of a silent scream. Tremors shake my body as if an earthquake is mocking my pain and weakness.

Not this one, not this baby that I allowed myself to love so utterly. A cast away that won my heart the first time I laid eyes on him. The baby that I day dreamed of adopting and making my own. The baby named Innocent because he was found on the street abandoned. Innocent of all the hate in the world.

I don’t know how to survive this. TIME stop ticking – stop your endless ticking!! My spirit has not healed yet, I need more time before opening myself up to love again.

My heart is screaming and my throat aches to wail, but I just lean down and pick up one of the many other babies crying to be loved.

A Recipe for a Friend

2008-03-30T03:18:00.001-07:00

A Recipe for a Friend

Two ears to listen
Two scoops quirks for fun
The biggest heart you can find for love
Three cups humor for laughs
One brain for smarts
One million megawatts for smile
Endless taste for shopping buds
Two arms for hugs
One teaspoon sass
Four cups compassion for understanding
One amazing soul

Blend well for many days, easy, tough and long until completely inseparable. Bake 1 year in Bancroft Hall at 400 degrees stress and fun. Garnish with cuteness. Live forever as best pals!

- Kat

Save me, I feel old!

2008-03-30T03:14:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, as I blew my running nose in a desperate attempt to clear all fluids for the zillionth try, a group of young singers walked past. I mumbled to myself that they were probably too young and I was too old. For those of you who, like me, have forgotten how old I am – a ripe 21. I, for all of ten seconds, considered following them to watch the local concert and see the night crowd. (I hardly go to town at night because it can be dangerous traveling to/from my house in the village) And so, instead I went to the market, gathered my vegetables and got myself home before dark.

Strangely, until this day I had yet to miss the social life of a young twenty something year old. You would think that being surrounded by kids of all ages would keep a soul young carefree… but being responsible for these children changes everything. When one of my students fails a test, I feel like I have failed them. When one of my babies turns into a little bully, I feel like I have failed to hug him enough. When one of my students refuses to obey, I feel as if I have failed to be strict enough. When one of my babies dies, I feel like I have failed to love and pray enough for them. God has given me this awesome responsibility of taking care of some of His precious children. What an honor, that I strive to live up to. What a comfort to know that He only gives what He has enabled me to handle and He’ll take care of the rest.

So as to my lack of a social life, well there will be time in the future but the carefree young twenty something blanket will from now on be threaded with the knowledge of my responsibilities to those around me.

(day at a theme park – on my list of things to do when I get back…can’t wait to be twenty something again)

Arts & Crafts

2008-03-14T04:35:00.005-07:00

Yesterday we did arts and crafts in P-3….your’s truly being the art teacher. First we made cards with construction paper then had a mini-writing lesson and learned how to write a letter. Once the cards were finished, we attacked the coloring books my mom sent. Each student received a little restaurant style box of four crayons (thank you federal railroad). They were so ecstatic when they realized they get to keep their box of crayons. They screamed their thankyous and had to be told by a neighboring classroom to shush.

Answered Prayer

2008-03-05T03:39:00.003-08:00

Two minutes after I posted that last entry, I checked my email. God answers prayer - I got back in. So overwhelmed, I need to go call my mom. Will write more tomorrow....look out Naval Academy, I am coming back!

Terrified

2008-03-05T03:34:00.001-08:00

The last received communication from the academy stated, "The Readmission Academic Board will not be held in Feb due to conflicts on the Supe's calendar. I was not given a new date for the Board." Recently I was asked why in the past few weeks I didn't seem frantic over my re-acceptance into the Naval Academy. I hesitated then proclaimed that of course God is in control of it.

Days later, the question continued to bounce around in my head. This year began ith anxious prayers, begging God to re-open the doors to the Academy. Every other thought was a plead to God...and then one day the urgency, the anxiety left. I told myself that God had given me a peace in knowing that no matter the outcome it would be His will for me.

This past week, I realized the truth. After being told enough times, 'of course you'll get back in' I bought into it. I stopped thinking that God was in control and I needed His help. Yesterday, I read that it is easier to talk about faith than it is to live it, how true for my life. It is so easy for me to say that I know God is in control, I trust Him, want to do His will whatever that may be. But let me be gut wrenching honest with you- I am terrified.

Frightened that God's will is not for me to return to the place I have worked my whole young life for. Scared to even consider plan B and where that might take me. Distressed to think of never returning to a place and way of life that I have grown to love. Afraid of letting down my family and friends. Fearful of the unknown.

It is so easy to say that I have faith in God's plan for my life but how often I forget that my plans are not always God's plans. So I ask you to pray for me, not that I get back into the Academy but that my heart will once again desire to do His will no matter where it takes me. That I will consider it all joy, when I encounter trails, knowing that it is the testing of my faith in God. Pray that my heart will be filled with a true sense of peace and not rued by fear and doubt.

God's Handiwork

2008-03-05T02:46:00.004-08:00

I was promptly put in my place yesterday as I read an email from my wonderful aunt. I had written sharing about the beauty of this place that has so quickly captured my heart. She recalled earlier reading about my struggle to find spiritual fellowship and growth in a foreign world where I attempt to maintain a grasp on the language. How easy it is to feel spiritually comfortable around our church, songs we know, and friends who walk with us. And yet as my aunt wrote, “you don’t have to be, as it surrounds you in the beauty of where you are”. The handiwork of God is seen all around without having to look in the normal places –church, hymns, people we know. We can see it in the pure nature that surrounds us everyday and know that He is near.
This brought me to my knees with a heart full of wonderment. I have been inwardly battling with a situation here for the past two weeks. I have let it control my thoughts, my words, and my heart. I felt as if a leech was rapidly draining my focus and my passion for God and the work here. Instead of turning to God with a quiet heart, I wrapped the problem around me like a cocoon and just laid in it. How silly. And so I escaped for two days because it seemed the easiest thing to do. And this is what God showed me…His hands in control of every sunrise, every wave upon the sand, and certainly in control of every detail in my life.
While this realization does not make the situation disappear like some magic trick. It does give me strength to carry on every day with a smile on my face – KNOWING that the man upstairs is writing every word in my life’s book.

Different or Just Plain Wrong

2008-03-01T03:07:00.006-08:00

I was once told that when approaching another culture to apply the saying, “it’s not wrong, just different”. It’s hard to adapt your mindset when engrained in your DNA is the voice of society saying, “don’t eat with your hands, call before visiting, bathe at least 3 times a week, don’t stare”. A guilty conscience signals that you have veered off the straight and narrow…so in what situations do we hit the snooze button on our conscience?

Upon arrival, I found that the local American families use hired house help. This of course set me on edge, are Americans so lazy that they can not do what ladies here have been doing daily all their lives. We are willing to dive into the culture and way of life as long as we don’t have to get sweaty or do the nitty gritty. When I approached these Americans, I was blasted with excuses such as, “we don’t have time, we don’t know how, we don’t want too, they need the work so why not”. I walked away feeling scorned as they mumbled about my naïveté to the culture. And so, I did what any good soldier does – marched to the back of the line and fell in with the rest of them.

Some of the suffocating guilt was relieved by the claim that it provides these women with an income. But the second twinge of shame struck as I found out the amount we pay for their labor-intensive eight hour day…$3. *gasp- robbery* I was about to jump outta the boat when I was assured by the Americans that this truly is a lot of money. It hit me that their thoughts were along these lines: it is ok for these women (husbandless) to provide for their families on $20 a week but Americans living in the same place could hardly be expected to survive on such.

So how do I quiet my screaming guilty conscience that feels assaulted on so many levels? My womanhood howls as I watch another woman scrub my dishes, wash my clothes, mop my floors. Each week my ears burn red as I hand this woman a meager $10. I ache to shower her with love and friendship; and yet, there is always an employer/employee barrier I feel radiating from her smile. How do I bite my tongue as I watch these women serve us Americans who seem to have forgotten that we came to serve these women in Christ and not the other way around? How do I cross this culture barrier that seems as wrong as it seems different?

Everyone is Bilingual

2008-02-17T00:24:00.002-08:00

Everyone is bilingual.

Have you ever tried to listen to your head and your heart at the same time?

It’s like the international departure lounge, you know you are going somewhere but you can’t understand a thing.

You see, we can speak both languages, but not at the same time.

Sometimes you just gotta let go of one and get on the dang plane.

I’ve got a first class ticket to heartland, departing now, arriving forever.

Kat Rascoe.

My Students Waving to You

2008-02-15T14:09:00.011-08:00

"Hallo! How are you?" screams 75 third graders. These are the little ones that seem to find my dancing so funny. As I was struggling to find my groove as a teacher, I decided we should start class with a song. Well, singing always gets me dancing and that is when the laughter began. Two seconds of dancing and belly-laughter began filling the school room. Guess my calling wasn't to be a dancer.
Made this poster with all the fabulous art supplies I received in my care packages!

Writing on the chalkboard is such a challenge. I walk away from class speckled with what looks like dandruff but I assure you is just chalk dust! On the left is the P3 classroom and on the right is the P4 classroom.

This is school assembly after lunch. The teacher in charge will stand and lecture them and then they all say a prayer together and head to class.

Everyone Loves Hippos

2008-02-08T13:04:00.000-08:00

"Hip-Hip-Hippopotamus, Hip-Hip-Hooray, God loves all of us" - How can you not smile when you see a hippo? So they aren't the prettiest animals, but they are rolly polly with pink bellies. And so they can take quite a bite outta you, but they love to play peek-a-boo in the water.

We went exploring for animals this is what we found.

Spiritual food

2008-02-03T20:41:00.001-08:00

Have you ever felt an overwhelming deep spiritual thirst? Felt a consuming hunger that no longer will be quieted with mere crumbs? Psalm 63, “my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”

I just realized how unknowingly spiritually blessed I have been these past two years. I was surrounded by bible studies where midshipmen unashamedly worshipped together, a church that preached straight from God’s word, a chaplain & his wife who showed God’s love to me every day, friends & family who prayed with/for me.

Here, I sit in church feeling as if I am sitting in an empty tomb. The foreign words roll right over my head and bounce lethargically around the large bare structure. I mouth words to songs I don’t understand, glancing around at the few who have shown up. Most are singing passionately, some even dancing as they worship God. And I just look on with a twinge of envy as I butcher the few words I am able to produce. I bow my head to pray and constantly peek to see if the prayer is over because unless a clear amen is said, I would never know. I walk out the doors two or three hours later with a subdued spirit and an earnest longing.

Every day is like a new miracle as I am awed by God’s greatness. I ache to share everything that He is doing with those who will be as amazed as I am. I hunger to receive guidance and fellowship from those who live for God. I thirst to sing enthusiastically, albeit off key, about Jesus’ endless love.

I spoke with someone else serving over here and realized this is a struggle for most, to find spiritual nourishment when in foreign lands. Please pray that the Holy Spirit will be a constant companion to me in the upcoming days.

Sharing the Laughter

2008-01-17T03:10:00.000-08:00

Some days are rough, long, and heartbreaking; but today was not one of those days. Pure happiness and delight were woven through out every minute of this day. I captured some of the moments to share with you because words just didn’t fit.

Green Carpets of Uganda

2008-01-17T02:45:00.000-08:00

Family and friends have persistently inquired as to what tea fields look/smell like. So here I am, sharing my secret garden with you - what I have fondly termed as the green carpet of Uganda.
Fort Portal rests on the mountain side; and everywhere you look, the mountain seems to have hiccupped little rolling hills, each softly coated in rows upon rows of green tea. At three feet tall, the tea bushes are woven together; deceivingly giving the appearance of one monster of a bush. The leaves and small pods are plucked by machines and workers to be made into the tea that I drink at 0630 when I am mumbling about killing the neighbor’s rooster.
Narrow paths crisscross the fields. As I run down these paths, my shoulders brush gently along the bushes on either side. My feet fall soundlessly as the soft soil muffles each heavy step of my run. From afar, I am invisible from the waist down, as if wearing one endlessly flowing green skirt. My breathe catches as I trudge up another hill - the mountain air taunting my weak lungs. I inhale deeply and gag as three gnats fly straight up my nose. So much for smelling the tea fields.

Young, Girly Stella

2008-01-14T00:23:00.000-08:00

Stella

Let me introduce you to my very girly and young Ugandan friend, Stella Amooti. We first began our friendship as we met every afternoon out in the field for language lessons. She was so patient with me as I tried to mimic her every word. Often she would roll in laughter at my pronunciation.

She lives in the village with her mom, brother, gramma, and girl cousin. Her mom, Akiki, is one of the biggest blessing in the world and I thank God so much for her. She brought Stella up strictly, consequently her English and grades in school are very good. She has done an amazing job at raising her children on her own.

Stella and I no longer do language lessons but that has not stopped her from making the trek over each evening to visit with me. We sometimes sit and listen music, go for walks, garden, or our latest thing is to cook the evening meal together. Most times we cook way too much food and it gives me an opportunity to send it home with her for her family.

I have begun to treasure our time together in the evenings as a time to just relax and giggle with her. God has really put her on my heart as I long to be the good role model she is looking for. Recently she met this guy and constantly seeks to use my phone to call him and speaks of her wishes for me to take her to the city to see him. I forget that she is a sixteen year old girl. I struggle to find the balance between being a confidant, a fun young friend, and a role model. Please pray for us as our friendship grows. Pray that I will give advice and guidance with caution and after much prayer.

City Bed Bugs vs Village Sticky Hands

2008-01-05T02:56:00.000-08:00

I spent the past week in the city with American families who were evacuated from the village because of the Ebola epidemic. The week pasted slowly full of guilty pleasures of good food and real toilets. By the end of the long drive back, I sluggishly fell out of the car and twirled the knob on my door as if it were second nature. I waited for the wave of “you’re home finally” to wash over me but the musty air hung silent around my sun burned shoulders. I unpacked with care knowing that the bed bugs from the city bed were probably crawling all over my luggage. I awoke the next morning and with a heavy tread, made my way to the babies’ home. As I entered the gates, I heard my name being shouted, “katee, katee, katee”! It was like a symphony of angels singing welcome home. My feet seemed to fly as I raced to hug each little one with a passion I didn’t know I felt. I ached to weep as each child tried in one breath to tell me everything I had missed and ask if I had been lost for the past week. I just kept nodding, not understanding 75% of it, but it didn’t seem to faze them as their tiny sticky hands grasped every inch of me. Through out the day as I was stopped by a number of people, all asking if I had been lost for the past week, I was struck with the realization that I had genuinely missed the people. Fort Portal has become home.

Network of Love

2008-01-05T02:50:00.000-08:00

Time and again my mouth falls open in a most unladylike manner, settling in this position as my brain struggles to grasp the unexpected gift of love. I began this blog as a way to share with friends back home in one felt swoop. And yet God has used it to encourage me to no ends. I have received countless emails from people who found it through someone who knew someone who knew me or even through googling “Uganda toilet paper” on the internet. (shout out to my new friend from Australia) Each email re-news my spirit as these complete strangers offer their support and prayers. Realizing that though perhaps to them it was just five short minutes out of their day which will never be re-visited, it made a world of difference to me.

A small act of kindness given to an unsuspecting victim could make a heap of difference.

New Year Thanks!

2007-12-29T13:29:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years one and all. And yes, I realize that most of you still have eight hours to go but we just celebrated with a glass of Cold Duck champagne. The aroma of burning tires swirl around my head as I watch flares burn in the sky, local makeshift fireworks. I am so excited for this new year and yet have so much to be thankful for from this past year. Please know that I am sending my love to you all.

This is me - christmas day as I hugged my care package to my chest in childish delight. Thank you Kathryn and mom!

I ask that you pray for me as this upcoming year unfolds. I haven’t ever been one of those people who learn a hard lesson and then never make the same mistake twice. Too often I repeatedly stumble over the same hiccup – picture me touching the stove a second time to see just how hot it really is. This week I find myself falling flat on my face once again.

I sent in my re-admission packet to the United States Naval Academy. I can’t help but worry about getting back in and what my next year holds. I willingly trusted God and followed Him across the world to Africa; and yet I still hesitate to trust Him concerning my future. Though my heart longs to return to the Academy, I pray that God will show me clearly what His will is for me and that I will learn to trust Him in everything. May this next year be as fabulous as the last.

Kudos to the Working Girl

2007-12-29T11:28:00.000-08:00

The other day as I lay utterly exhausted with cuts covering my knees and a large burn on my hand, I thought of how all my life I have been taken care of. Growing up with parents who sacrificed daily to give me what they couldn’t afford, going to a school where my food & laundry were all done for me, and biggest of all just living in America.

When arriving in Africa I expected all this would change and a large part of it has; but one surprise was that I would have a local village lady work a few mornings for me – hand washing clothes and such. I protested that I did not need it and could do the work myself but was told that this was the lady’s whole income. Needless to say, I did not take away her job. With the holidays she had plans to be gone for a few weeks, and I looked forward to the extra work or so I thought.

That day I decided would be my full work day and I would get everything done that she would normally do. I scrubbed a heaping pile of laundry with a brush, two buckets, and detergent that strips all skin from your hands. By the sixth trip to re-fill my water buckets my back began to complain loudly with my knees soon following suit. I felt as if every line on my hands were being eaten away. As I rinsed and hung the laundry up to dry, it dawned on me that it was not even noon yet. I was ready to stop for the day but there was still a full working day ahead of me. I moved to hoeing the garden to prepare the soil for planting tomorrow. As the sun began to gift me with more freckles, I dropped to my knees to pick up rocks. After I had carted away the rocks, the walls & floors of the washroom, cook room, and living rooms were calling out my name. The fire had to be made and the baking for the week still needed to be finished. By this time the laundry was ready to be taken down and folded. Once all this was done, my body protested loudly to all movement and I collapsed on the floor.

Oh man, kudos to the working girls of old!

Hazardous Fruit Bearing

2007-12-29T10:51:00.000-08:00

Went to the market where I managed to fall flat on my face in front of a huge crowd. Yep, graceful is my middle name. I was carrying my bag, two watermelons, and two pineapples when I tripped over a root but having no free hand to catch myself just fell. Everyone quickly rushed to help me, repeatedly saying sorry though they were faultless. Embarrassment flushed across my face and my body screamed in pain but I didn’t want to cry in front of all these people. So picking myself up, I limped to a bodah bodah to get a ride home. Vulnerability poured from every pour as I painfully stumbled around to pick up my smashed fruit off the ground.

I was sharing this with a dear friend when she told me that I should write and tell of how God is helping me grow in the fruits of the spirit through these experiences. I need lots of growth in these areas: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.
But as I was whining about my embarrassment and pain - I shamefully forgot to share how God did use this situation. As I rode home on the bodah bodah sniffling to myself, I got a chance to know the driver who had seen me fall. He shared about his family and things he has been through growing up. Bruises fade away but I hope that this friendship will grow and last.

Ultimate Homesickness

2007-12-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my first day of utter homesickness. It didn’t help that I was exhausted from a very late night and a long day of work. Around 1630 I shut all my curtains, locked the doors, and huddled up on the floor with a stash of care package cookies (thank you Kathryn). I sat there in silence as the evening darkness wrapped around me like a heavy quilt. I didn’t rise to light the candles or make dinner; I just remained in a position of complete pitiful-ness. Finally I reached for an unopened card from a loved one and read, “I would totally throw myself on a bee for you.” I smiled and not thirty minutes later I got a phone call from one of my best friends.

But this small sliver of joy soon faded as the phone card cut us off, the batteries ran out on my cd player, the candles began to dwindle, and the dark silent night wore on. I turned on my computer which had 20 minutes of battery remaining to watch a slide show of my pictures from home. Not a smart idea when stubbornly stuck in the ditch of loneliness. I awoke and began to pray for a peace and happiness.

I was so intent on missing my loved ones back home that I was refusing to make room in my heart to love those around me. As if my heart was holding it’s breath till I got home. I was willing to love them but always with the distant thought that I will be saying goodbye to them in 6 months. My prayer now is that I will learn to love passionately, boldly, and without fear. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear…”

Oh Christmas Tree!

2007-12-24T04:31:00.000-08:00

Well, it is finally Christmas time. My favorite time of the year as all my friends know - I began listening to Christmas music around October. I found a small Charlie Brown fake Christmas tree here and decorated it with popcorn and ribbon. Don't laugh...I make do with what I can find. It doesn't feel like Christmas at all but I really haven't missed it. The people here have been so kind to me. I have a dark chocolate bar under my tree, care package, a plate of cookies, and a few fabulously wrapped gifts. I love you all! Merry Christmas!

Loving the Un-lovable

2007-12-21T00:19:00.001-08:00

I have always thought that loving children was like second nature to me. I am a huge push over when it comes to kids. And nine times out of ten, you can find me at the kids table rather than with the adults. Granted there are some pills every now and then but kids are normally pretty loveable…or so I thought. I know most parents who have had to put up with obnoxious children are laughing at my warped view of angelic children. I have since seen the error of that kind of thinking.

Out of the 40 babies/kids at the home, there are just 3-4 whom have managed to frustrate me to no end. They are around five years old and my jaw clenches at just the thought of how they behave. They will do anything for attention, including: hitting me, messing up my hair, tearing at my clothes or jewelry, pushing other children out of my lap to get in it, choking the little ones to see if I will re-act, crying or screaming, and anything they think of. They don’t understand English and I have no authority to discipline them.

Today, I sat feeding a three week old baby girl; and in my head, I began to list which kids I would adopt and which I wouldn’t. Never have I felt such shame as when I realized that I was saying that some were not worthy of love or adoption. How I was so quick to offer love to those who I felt were worthy and yet was ready to give up on the others.

I don’t know how Jesus does it, how He loves all of us who are so very unworthy. God doesn’t just adopt those who are cute and obedient – He loves the unlovable. Please pray that God will open my heart to love these four children with the same unconditional love that is lavished upon me. "Jesus loves the little children, all the little children of the world. Red & yellow, black & white – they are precious in His sight."

Baby Home Pics

2007-12-14T02:19:00.000-08:00

These are some of the kids at the Torro babies home that I work with every day. A lot of the younger babies are in their cribs so I didn't take many pics of them. These are the older kids who love to smother me with their sticky hands and snot filled faces....and I am loving every second of it.

Katy Care Packages

2007-12-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

Dark Chocolate
Sleepy Time Tea
Hot tamales
Mixed Music Cds
Dvds or TV series (friday nite movie night)
Pictures of yourselves (I can't print pics from emails)
Blank cards / stationary

*Will add more to the side of my blog as I think of it. = )

PHONE NUMBER (updated)

2007-12-09T23:29:00.000-08:00

I have a phone! I am so estatic that I have a cell phone but as I carry it around, I constantly reach for it to make a phone call and realize that I really can't just make international calls whenever I feel like it. But if someone calls me from the states then I don't have to pay for anything - so feel free to call any time. It is best to get a phone card and just call me on that...that way it will be cheaper for you. My number is 0751949741.

You have to have access to an international line then dial 011 256 75 1949741 I am 8 hours ahead of you (EST), and am home from the orphanage after 4 PM my time (8 AM your time).

Prayer & Laughter

2007-12-05T02:29:00.000-08:00

Here is the little girl who has won her way completely into my heart. Her name is Jeryn - she is the daughter of a fellow teacher at Hope School. She spent the night with Rachel and I this past weekend and it was the most fun. And yes, that is me without anything done to my hair and no make up - welcome to life in Africa.

I need to ask for some serious prayer. Last night a doctor who works with our team died from ebola. They have evacuated all the neighboring team mates and just this week there was a case of ebola here in Fort Portal. People are starting to wear gloves when handling any money or the such. Everyone is scared and unsure about this. Please pray - it has become quite a serious plague.

There is so much more but my time is up! love to all!

Prayers for disease

2007-11-30T02:42:00.000-08:00

Last night it was reported that the neighboring villages where some fellow missionaries live have a break out of ebola. So far in the one village it is around 79 deaths. They are not sure if they are going to quaranteen it or not but it has already begun to spread to other villages. It has no cure and they haven't seen it this far west in Uganda before. Please pray that it will not continue to spread to Fort Portal and for the safety of the missionary doctors helping out.

I am now a teacher!

2007-11-30T02:25:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone!

Well, I have now been here two weeks...man, it feels like centuries. I taught my first class today! Yes, I am now officially a teacher...scary thought. = ) I stood up and wrote math problems on the board and helped the children answer them in their notebooks. Walked around with as stern as a face as I could muster so they would do their work and quit talking. Then I graded all the problems and handed them back. It was so much fun but quite a shock to find out that in just one of my classes P3 (3rd grade) there are 78 students!!!! Can you believe that! I was shocked to realized I would be teaching around 150 different students and need to remember their names and everything. Thank goodness that my memorization skills are up to par. Here in school it is very common for the teachers to beat the students with reeds. I witnessed my first beating today. It is not as if they beat them to a pulp but they do make them lie down and they beat them on their bottoms. It is hard to get used too. But evidently the parents expect their children to get all their discipline at school. I won't be doing any beating, thankfully they don't expect me too. They start their exams Monday and I will be grading over 5,000 problems...yikes! Cassie and all you teachers have my utmost respect right now!

Torro Babies Home

2007-11-26T03:02:00.000-08:00

My main focus until school starts is the Torro Babies home. I visited for the first time a few days ago and it nearly broke my heart. I told the Head Mistress that I would be back every day except Sundays from then until school started. There are about 40 babies there a mixture of healthy, mal-nutritioned, and HIV positive.

It is a real struggle. You walk in and all the toddlers come running to attack you with their sticky hands and mushed up grass hoppers (a specialty here). If you forget to take all your jewlery and special clothing off, prepared for it to be pulled at. They fight to sit in your lap pulling each other off. They wrap their arms around you neck so tight you can hardly breathe and yet don't know what they are saying as they jabber at you in Torro a mile a minute. I bought a ball for them today and it was fun to have them running around playing. After about two hours with the older kids I sit down on the cement porches with the babies who are set out there for the day.

The babies either have no diaper or have soaked through the one they have on. As they make a wet puddle, they are moved and set in another spot. The first day I constantly cringed as I would feel the wetness soaking into my clothes from holding the babies. Some are rolly polly babies and others have arms and legs that are twigs and yet will be one or two years old. They wrap their tiny arms around any part of you. After sitting and just holding for a while, we move in for lunch.

Their are about 8-10 kids per small room each with his/her own crib. I help feed and clean the older toddlers and babies. Then we move to the infants who you wouldn't even know where there. 2 weeks old, 5 months old.....tiny babies in cribs all day. I feed them bottles and just sing to them while the other crawl in bed for nap time. It breaks my heart each time I walk into a room and realize there are more babies in each corner every day that I didn't know about the day before.

It has been a real struggle for me. I want to cry for each child and yet it does no good. They greet me with huge smiles and I force myself to continue smiling until I leave for the day. I want to shower....wash away the urine, spit up, poop, left over food, filth, and any trace of HIV each time I walk home. And yet, I hold onto each baby tighter each day...hoping if I get enough of it on me, they will have to endure less of it. And yet it is the children and babies who show me God's pure happiness each day. They laugh and play through out it all and are happy to be alive. I pray that I will learn to be so thankful for everything I have and love my life to it's fullest.

My Job Here

2007-11-26T02:55:00.000-08:00

What am I doing here? Good question...glad you asked. Well the first two days I spent with the kids at school. I got to know the teachers and how things ran. Classes end tomorrow and the kids are on break until February 1st. So I will spend that time writing my lessons and getting ready to teach. I will be teaching math for 3rd and 4th grade and another unknown class as of right now.

Then I began language lessons with a local girl named stella. Man, I thought it would be easy cause English is spoken here. WRONG. First off I am learning to speak with an accent or a broken staccato like English. But the real challenge is that most of the children and older adults speak Torro a village dialect. So to teach and work with the children and pretty much interact in the community - I must learn the language. I am really excited to get it down. I am meeting with my tutor for an hour or two every day for December-January before school starts.

We live in a village about 5 kilometers from town. So I walk into town in the mornings to work at the Torro babies home for most of the day until 1500. It is a hillly long walk but I enjoyed it. I love the people I wish I could describe how different it is here. The kids come out to say hi as you pass by and everyone is so friendly. Personal space is not really in exsistance here....you hold hands with everyone and I am learning to enjoy it.

Some Free Time

2007-11-26T02:45:00.000-08:00

Well, I have a little bit of free time because the babies ate lunch and took their nap early and the internet cafe is open. Man, I don't know where to start. First let me describe my home.

I arrived to find that the little stone place that I would be sharing with Rachel is so delightful. So much more then I expected so I am in love with it. She has worked hard to make it homey. We share a bunk bed and I have all my stuff on these local wicker shelves. And we have a little sitting room to greet guests in. I plan on taking a little video of it and posting but today is not that day. We have attached outside a kitchen with a stone outside stove and a shower room where we hang a bag of water with a hose to shower. And Rachel and I are working on a garden. I am hoping to buy some tomatoe, carrot, cucumber, squash, and corn seeds today in town. We already have lettuce, peppers, dodo, and green beans. Everyone has a garden because that is how you eat around here.

Rachel is a delight of a room mate. Really fun and down to earth. Definitely my stlye. She cleaned out her closet and has some hammy downs for me....Kathryn made me think of you. The house is right next to the church and school. So every morning I wake up to tons of children running by on their way to school in purple and blue uniforms. The picture of the bathroom I posted earlier is a dream bathroom...I wish I had. We really just have a stall with cement floors and a hole. But I thank God for everything nice that I didn't expect and can't complain.

Things to Send

2007-11-23T02:08:00.000-08:00

I have only 6 mins to type this in the local internet cafe. If you would like to send care packages this is what I need. I am working with children 2 weeks to 4 years old. All this can be hammy down and thrift store...they don't have much so it doesn't need to be new.

I NEED:
Baby and Toddler clothes - shirts and shorts
Cloth Diapers LOTS! (ones that can zap or button on preferably)
*no socks, shoes, or hats* (won't be used)
Coloring books (dollar store ones will work)
Coloring crayons (or pencils)
Gum (they love gum)
Toy Balls (a bouncy medium size one or soccer or anything)

That is all for now! So much to tell you but no time yet. Will be on once a week and will write more. Love you all!!!

I am HERE!

2007-11-18T05:08:00.000-08:00

Well, so my idea of arriving at 1400 on saturday was wishful thinking. Fog rolled into Dubai and I ended up being there from midnight (friday) until 1900 (saturday). I arrived in Uganda at 0145 very tired. Thank the Lord though, because my luggage came in and I was given a visa. We drove to a hostel close by for the night. It was late so I didn't really see anything. Though driving on the wrong side of the road and sitting in the passenger seat which to us is the drivers seat was a little weird. I showered and crept into my mosquitoe net covered bed.

I woke up early and Jennifer, Rachel, and I headed to a local church. As we drove there, I couldn't take it all in. There was so much to see and absorb. Jeeps with armed soldiers, children running around everywhere, red dirt roads, huts/houses all crammed together in alleyways, and so much more. We stopped at an India restaraunt and ate AMAZING food. (thought of you Justin & Tracy) We leave tomorrow morning for Fort Portal. Jennifer says I am seeing the nice and developed area but it is a lot different where I will be living. Hard to imagine.

Well, I will try and get on in a week or so.

1st Leg of the Journey

2007-11-16T13:09:00.000-08:00

Well, I am sitting in Dubai airport. I have made it half way. So much has happened and I wish you could see what I have seen so far. Let me share my last 26 hrs (with time change).

So, I left home at 1045 yesterday (thursday) to catch a shuttle to JFK. I departed JFK (thursday) at 2315 for Hamburg, Germany. I boarded the plane and glanced around in amazement. We each had our own TV with over 150 movies and also music. We were all given blankets, pillows, head sets, heated towels, sleeping masks, tooth brush & paste, and socks. They served a spicy chicken cury, rice, and okra dinner with also a roll, seafood salad, fresh salad, cheese & crackers, rice pudding, and brownie. And then later on a breakfast that was equally as big. I felt like royalty. It was a 7 hr flight to Germany but with the time change I landed at 1330 (friday). The lay over was 1 hr and I was soon on another flight for the next 5 hrs to Dubai. I landed and it was 2345 (friday).

As I walked around Dubai airport, my mouth hung open with wonder. It is huge and as busy as Times Square NYC. Everything is decorated in gold and deep colors. There are shops everywhere selling absolutely everything. It is late so there are people EVERYWHERE laying down asleep on the ground. I went to the restroom, thinking nothing of it. And discovered, I have now entered the realm of hole in the ground toilets. I must brag that I did pretty well for my first time. = )

I don't leave Dubai until 0800 (saturday). So, I will sleep here all night and resist the urge to go exchange all my money and buy tons of goodies. I will, hopefully, arrive in Uganda at 1430 (saturday).

Farewell USA

2007-11-14T19:49:00.000-08:00

Well, it is finally that time. I head out tomorrow morning for JFK. I scrambled to finish packing my two bags tonight. They are awful heavy and I pray that they aren't over 70 lbs. I kept thinking of last minute things to stuff in them. I packed really tightly so I had all this extra room but tons of stuff in zip lock, air free bags. I can't wait to check them and not have to worry about them until the other end of the journey.

I just want to take time to thank all of my family and friends. I would not be here today with out your love and support. I tease my mom all the time telling her that she is fabulous but I really do mean it. She has done SO much for me. I couldn't be more blessed or wish for anything else. And not just my mom but also my siblings, extended family, new friends, old friends, friends of friends...I am so fortunate. I look forward to meeting new people in Uganda with eagerness but will never forget the wonderful people in my life already. Thank you all.

A rough sketch of my first week was shared with me. Here is what it looks like: Saturday I arrive in Kampala (the capital of Uganda). Jennifer and Rachel are picking me up but may be late because there is a traffic ban that day due to a high security conference going on. We will spend 2 nights in the city to tour around, get over jet lag, go to church. Monday we will begin the 4 hr jeep ride to Fort Portal. Tuesday & Wednesday I will settle in, start learning about the culture, observe classes at Hope School. Thursday I will meet the other missionaries at Thanksgiving dinner. And Friday I will spend back at the school.

I have my camera charged and ready. I will report back with pictures and an update in a week or two. Love you all!

Bathroom Mix Up

2007-11-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

The drive to Philly today wasn't bad until the last leg where I got lost and went 30 miles too far. It was about a five hour drive and by the time I got to the mall, I had to go to the bathroom REALLY bad. I rushed down this narrow hallway and saw "women" written in large cursive letters on the wall. The opening was like those at an airport - going straight in you would hit a wall..you go to the right to enter and exit on the left. Well that is what I assumed. Little did I know that the men were on the right and the woman on the left. The hallway was dark and I only saw the women's sign. After going to the bathroom, I walked out of the stall to be faced with a gentleman using an urinal. He was as shocked and mortified as I was. I rushed out in complete embarrassment. I don't know how I find myself in these type of situations but I am scarred for life. yikes!

Hands Up!

2007-11-13T05:22:00.000-08:00

My mom and I were shopping for last minute items and remembered we needed to get Advil cold medicine for the family in Uganda. We hunted the shelves and could not find it. Finally, we realized you had to take a card to the prescription counter to get Advil cold medicine. We chuckled and went to the counter; not knowing the shake down we were about to go through. To get this medicine- you must now show your ID, sign an agreement, pay right there, two more signatures, and then you receive the medicines in a stapled white bag. All of this for Advil cold medicine. We walked away feeling like we had just bought illegal drugs!

Packing IQ

2007-11-07T20:12:00.000-08:00

How does one know exactly how many things of deodarent to bring? Will two sticks carry me through or will I begin to stink at the end? Will the one dark chocolate bar curb my craving for the next seven months or should I bring a large stash? Can you ever pack too many colorful (barbie, superman, glitter, sponge bob) bandaides? These are the thoughts that race through my mind lately as I scramble to pack my bags. One more week, ladies and gentlemen.

It is so thrilling. As I sat excitedly waiting to get my shot today (yes, I like shots...weird I know), I realized how far God has brought me since around this time last year. It was in January when I first dared to mention that I felt like God wanted me to be in Africa and not at the Academy. I was sitting talking with Chaps when it slipped out - I was as shocked as he was. Now here I am, trying to think of how much suntan lotion I should bring with me!

My Ticket Outta Here. (edited)

2007-11-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here is my flight information! UPDATED

Leave: 15 Nov from JFK at 2315.
Arrive: 16 Nov in Dubai at 2355. *lay over 8hrs
Leave: 17 Nov from Dubai at 0825.
Arrive: 17 Nov in Entebbe, Uganda at 1450.

How to write letters or send packages.

Address:
KATY VOIGT C/O WHM
BOX 383, FORT PORTAL, UGANDA, EAST AFRICA

**You can send all letters and packages to this address. When sending a package, please put "gift" or "no commercial value" on the packing slip, even if it has value. That way there won't be a tax placed on it.

Our Comfort Zone

2007-10-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

Dan M. from World Harvest is one of a kind. I first met him early this summer at orientation. I shared with him where God has brought me from and where He is leading me. Dan helped guide me through orientation and looked out for me. I grew to respect him in such a short time. One of the first things you notice is his jokeful personality, he makes you laugh. But as the week went on, I realized that he has a hard time being personal (hugging, showing his emotion with others). And yet, his HUGE heart for the Lord just radiates from him. Today he pulled me aside, "Katy, this is really hard for me to say but your life's story about your journey with God made you one of my hero's this summer." I looked at him in shock and didn't know what to say.

I want to cry now as I realize that I couldn't bring myself to step outside my comfort zone and tell him what a Christ like example he has been to me and how much I respect him. I have such a hard time sharing my feelings with others. And here was someone who struggled with the same thing and yet was willing to step outside and share. My friends and family have told me that I have a hard time telling them of my love for them. I am so ashamed to think that I couldn't bring myself to sacrifice a little of my comfort to share how much they mean to me. (Tara this is for you too.)

Today this is my prayer. Lord, please open my heart to those I love so very much. Please allow me to radiant your love to those around me as I have seen Dan do.

All the Credit is His

2007-10-23T10:50:00.001-07:00

I am so close to being done with support raising and yet this past week I began to worry and complain about not being able to raise the last amount. I realized that God had provided so much in such an unexpected time and I had never stopped to really spend time thanking Him. I almost was proud to say "I raised such and such amount already"; as if I was taking God's credit for raising the money. Once again He needed to gently nudge me and remind me that it is He who provides for all things. I hang my head in shame as I realize my doubt and lack of trust. 'To God be all the glory for the great things He has done.'

I got a call from a doctor and dental office today. They both agreed to give me a physical and dental check-up for free. How amazing is God. I still need to get my shots but am looking to see where is the best place.

Hopefully, I can send out my first support email today with updates. I still need to figure out how to put all the email addresses into one link so it is easier when I email in Uganda.

What would happen if we stopped?

2007-10-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

I have been at training for two days. And as I chattered on (as I am known to do) I was asked by a lady - "what would happen if you just stopped?". Stopped trying to accomplish a miracle, stopped trying to be a hero, stopped trying to be all that I can be. I looked at her in shock...most people say nice words of encouragement and admiration for all that I manage to fit in. My first thought was - well things would just not get done or fall apart. Wow, was I overcome with pride. The world would keep on turning and most would not even experience a speed bump if I stopped. How small we are in the big picture of life and yet how often we feel like the world revolves around us. I want to stop rushing against time; and begin living according to God's schedule book and not my own.

Approved

2007-10-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

I am excited - I can barely type a complete sentence! I just got an email from my team leader in Fort Portal that I have been approved to come by Nov 15th. That means in about three weeks, I will be in Africa!!!! This is a picture of where I will be living with my team mate, Rachel. I leave early tomorrow for Asheville and my last week of training. But I will try and keep you updated as we get so close to the send off date. Please pray that I will have the last of my support in within the next two weeks.

Support Update

2007-10-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, Jess and I went to the Mariner's Church. I had asked them for support and wanted to visit while I could. Jess put up with me arriving late and getting lost many times on the way. = ) The service was such a blessing. I hope to attend more when I get back to the academy. The mission committee met last night to discuss whether they will support me or not. I am supposed to receive a call today and will fill you in with the news. Please keep praying.

I left on my road trip expecting nothing and was blown away time and again by the support given to me. God is amazing - He chooses to use the most unexpected people. Thank you all those who gave their love and support. Support Raising:
Raised - $8500
Still Need - $1000
I am about 90% there.

Road Trip, Days 3-6 - Family

2007-10-17T00:32:00.000-07:00

I spent the next three days with Shelly, the girls, and Chaps. It was so much fun to relax for a few days and not stress about anything. The girls and I got time to play and goof off together. Chaps and I had a brief time to talk which I love to do. And Shelly and I got to talk, do hair, cook, and play multiple games of cards. I will admit that this visit she did beat me pretty bad. But the challenge is still on. They offered me support, prayers, and their love. It was hard to say goodbye but I know I will see them again as soon as I get back.

I spent the last day of my journey with my brother and his family. We spent time in God's word, praying, and discussing issues. It was a blessing because though some of it was hard to hear...to have someone be so honest with me - shows their love and respect for me. And I couldn't want more. Thank you to those who prayed for me while I was there. I definitely feel like God is using my brother to help me through some struggles I have. Please continue to pray.

The next morning, I drove 11 hrs home. I had to stop at least 3 x's to take short naps because I was drifting as I drove. It was a really hard drive home but I made it in one piece.

Road Trip, Day 2 - Dinner Party

2007-10-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

I arrived Saturday afternoon with strict instructions to drive to a friend's house for a get together. My darlin Kathryn was in charge. She had planned a dinner get together of friend's who wanted to say hi. When I arrived and saw so many people, I felt so loved. I always had a tiny worry that I would be forgotten. And here were tons of people showing up to show me their love and support. We spent the evening talking, laughing, and eating good food. Some are missing from the picture but I tried to get tons of pictures to remember the night. They gave me cards full of fabulous advice and lots of support.

These girls right here worked so hard in the kitchen the whole night. Kathryn was the head chef and the other three willingly offered to slave away beside her. Every dish was homemade: chicken pasta, salad, biscati, apple cider, carmel dipped apples, apple pie, cheese cake, reg cake, and so many other treats. And Kathryn even had hot dogs for me cause she knows it is my favorite. She is just too good to me.

This is a picture of Kathryn and I. We were roommates last year. I wish I had treasured it twice as much when we were together cause I miss her so much. She has continually sacrificed and supported me along this journey. She was the first friend I told that I might be leaving for Africa. She said she believed in me and I could do anything and know I had her full support. Man, it broke my heart to say goodbye. I know that she will have Carmen (her new roomie) to love her while I am gone but I will still think of her often. God definitely gave me Kathryn to help with everything I might go through. She has already given me a months worth of cards to take with me to africa and open there. Cards for days such as: rainy days, lonely days, doubting days, happy days, and such. I will miss her every day I am gone. Kat, I love you.

Road Trip, Day 1 - Coast Guard

2007-10-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

I don't even know where to begin. I started my road trip last Friday. I drove to the Coast Guard academy in CT to visit my dearest friend, VD. I hadn't seen her in two years but we definitely didn't have to catch up because we talk almost everyday. When I parked and saw her...man, it felt so good to hug her and be with her again. I missed her so much. She was my first roommate in college. She took me out to Olive Garden, downtown, and then a hotel. I would like it to be known that this time she moaned and groaned in her sleep and it wasn't me this time. She forever accused me of that when we were roomies. It was so sad to have to say goodbye in the morning. She gave me a hug and offered me support for my trip. I was so overwhelmed by how much I love and miss her. Thank you, Vd.

One Foot Out the Door

2007-10-12T04:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I am in the midst of packing up the car and rushing out the door. But after such a rough day yesterday, I wanted to leave on a good note. Thank you to those who quickly wrote or called to offer words of encouragement and advise. My friend Tara said it the best so I am going to quote her: "We do get homesick. For familiar things and faces. For easier times that we can comprehend. Sometimes, we get “home” and find it isn’t the comfort we thought. It was the idea of comfort we longed for. The truest comfort, the best feeling of home can be found in the presence of God. If we can be steadied by the Lord, we may see Him and find our home. And one day, all who are in Christ will be home, in the best, truest way."

Everything is coming together, though I still would love your prayers. I am headed out the door to visit all my amazing friends and family, and of course, support raise. I will be back next Wednesday and fill everyone in on how it went.

I'm Melting!

2007-10-11T15:43:00.000-07:00

So you know how you have a huge stack of things to do and though it is a lot...you are not stressed and things are going well. Then *WHAMY* and just one little thing added to the stack -makes it all crumble. And then the stress just pours in. This is where I am at. Please pray that I will have patience and trust in God.

I leave tomorrow for Conneticut, Maryland, DC, and then Virginia. My little brother is letting me borrow the car for the trip which saved me a bundle of money. I am trying so hard to be frugil and save every penny. It has gotten to the point where I feel guilty for buying anything that is not an essential. I have not even packed for the trip. I don't feel emotionally or spiritually ready for this trip. I am visiting family and friends and hoping to mend some bridges and be open with some important people in my life.

I wrote to Grace Community church today asking for financial and prayer support. I met their pastor. He was amazing and shared a passion for the children of Uganda. Their mission coordinator said they don't normally support outsiders but he would bring it to the board and see what happens. It is so frustrating because most churches don't support outsiders but for me with no home church...that is all I am - an outsider. Please please please pray they will open their hearts to what God is having me do.

My mom told me last night that I am no longer her favorite because I am not a warm and fuzzy person. haha. I have never been told that I am not warm and fuzzy. I need to work on this. So I am trying to stop and enjoy the changes around and the beauty of nature. Here are some pics I took through out my day. Fall is definitely my favorite season.

Support Update

2007-10-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

God is so good. I flew all day yesterday and got home at midnight. Waiting on my desk were letters full of love and support. Thank you my dear friends and family! Here is a schedule of what my next weeks will look like and also an update on how support raising is going.

Support Raising:
Raised - $6320
Still Need - $3180

I am about 67% there. I am really praying that God will provide a home church who would be willing to support me both financially and with prayers. I attended the Naval Academy chapel the last two years which was a blessing but as a result I don't have a home church body. I have approached two different churches and am praying that God will open the hearts of one.

Schedule for the rest of October:
Oct. 6-11 ~ I will be home finishing paper work, getting immunization shots, medical reviews, packing up, support raising.
Oct. 11-13 ~ I will be in NYC and Conneticut visiting dear friends who I haven't seen in two 1/2 years, support raising.
Oct. 13-16 ~ I will be in Annapolis visiting my sponsor family and Academy friends, support raising, and also speaking at a church.
Oct. 16-18 ~ I will be in DC and VA beach visiting my family and cutest nephew in the world, and support raising.
Oct. 19-20 ~ *still unsure* I will be in Kentucky visiting my support coach from the mission organization and raising support in the military community there.
Oct. 20-26 ~ I will be in Asheville, NC at my last training session (Sonship).

CIT family

2007-10-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

This is the cross cultural, CIT, training class for fall of 2007. What an amazing group of people who had such a positive affect on my life.

Our version of "My Big Fat

Greek Wedding" bunt cake.

We baby sat the kids for

the parents, I was in charge

of all the activities.

--This is Jyll and Jenn,

two of my dorm mates.

Beautiful girls with hearts

for Latin America and Africa.

This is Tara's family,--

whom I fell in love with.

Headed to Ireland.

The Ugandan meal I made for my dorm mates & guests.

Group project puzzle

that I became obsessed

with completing.

This is Shirley who lived

her whole life in Mexico.

She is a beautiful and

amazing woman.

Personal Toilet Paper

2007-10-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

Got an email today sharing the news that nephew #2 is on the way! What an exciting surprise to my day. They have already decided on the name Sydney.

Spent the whole night working on my paper. We were assigned a 15 page paper due this Thursday about the country we are headed too. Writing about everything: religion, politics, history, security, health, military, sports, arts, music, geography, education, industry, taboos, family structure, communication, and on. Well, there is no way to fit that into 15 pages. I am about 85% done and on page 27. It has been quite an experience. Tonight's interesting fact is that the people of Uganda do not use there left hand for anything in public. Because it is used as personal toilet paper. I need to start practicing...not the personal toilet paper usage but avoiding using my left hand in public.

Answered Prayers

2007-09-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

Well thanks for all your prayers for my gramma. She had surgery and a shunt was put in. Last I heard she was headed home - weak but doing much better.

Another praise is for a family friend who found out this past spring that he had a rare form of cancer. I struggled to understand how God could give such an amazing man - cancer. He has a young and beautiful family. It was said that only 2% respond to the treatment and have a chance of survival. I have constantly had this family in my prayers. And even through out these struggles, he reached out and asked how he could support my mission trip. I was blown away by his Christ-like spirit. Well, last night I learned of the miracle that God performed...he had a cat scan and the cancer was gone. PRAISE THE LORD! Please keep him in your prayers, his name is Bill.

I have been praying for Victor who is on a mission trip. I got a call from him today on his way to Romania! I was so excited to hear his voice. For all those that know him, he said he is safe and happy. He sends his love.

Elizabeth, the name we share

2007-09-27T04:38:00.000-07:00

I REMEMBER...
I remember her sleeping on the buck below me in Alaska.
I remember her telling me once she layed down she put on head phones and wouldn't be able to talk to me, so if I needed to say something - say it.
I remember her huge ALL purple room.
I remember watching Sleepless in Seattle and You've got mail all in the same night.
I remember the train tracks behind her house and putting pennies on it.
I remember driving in the special school bus with her on her job.
I remember driving with my dad 12-14 hrs just to go see her.
I remember always getting a holiday card with a check in it from her, I still find those checks among my stuff...ones I never cashed from years ago.
I remember writing her many letters just to try and be close to her.
I remember visiting her all by myself and feeling so mature.
I remember once signing my name Katherine and she crossed it out and said I was her special Katy and that's how I should remain.
I remember a friendship we once had.
And now, God, please remember and draw this beautiful, wonderful woman close to your heart. Open her heart to you. Heal her from her heart attack and let her find comfort. For she is my Gramma.

Double Size

2007-09-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

So, I begin my task of sewing this past weekend. I was so excited. My sister and mom sent me these wild materials. I decided to start with the cheetah print. I cut out all the pieces and was about 70% finished with the skirt when I realized......dun dun dun (doom sounding music) I didn't take sizing into account. I just cut at the outter most line, which is for the biggest size. So as I wrapped the skirt around me to get an idea of how it was turning out...I kept wrapping and wrapping around my middle. OOPS. Thankfully, I think I can fix it, but it took some of the wind out of my sewing sails.

Tonight a pastor at a local church came to speak with the Slate family and I. He, Josiah, use to work with World Harvest Mission and in Uganda. Imagine my delight at having someone here who knew people from my home base. He just got back last week from spending a couple weeks with my team mates in Fort Portal. I longed to suck him dry of information. He had so much to share about his experiences. It felt so amazing to talk with someone who shared a passion with me for the children of Uganda. He told with tears in his eyes, of constantly leaving food on his plate there so the hungry kids cleaning it up would be able to eat. It renewed my longing to be over there among the children.
*Picture taken from Tara's website!*

Down any Road at any Cost

2007-09-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

Leaving the safe and familiar
With their hearts set on a heavenly prize
There were some who laid down their nets
And some who laid down their lives
Not sure where they were going
But they did not have to know
'Cause they knew who had called them
And they said, "We will go"

Down any road at any cost
Wherever You lead I will follow
Because I know that You've called me
To take up my cross
Down any road at any cost

It may be fear that I'm feeling
I see what I must sacrifice
But You promised You'll go with me
So I'll trust with my life

It's Your love that compels me
To do what You've called me to do
And be completely abandoned to You

Because I know that You've called me
To take up my cross
Down any road at any cost
-Point of Grace

My Story Book

2007-09-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

I am not what I use to consider a touchy-feeling, lovey-dovey type of person. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a place for those in the world too; as Dianne says, nothing is weird just different. But heaven forbid that I should be one. In most cultures, you are only supposed to share what is asked of you or what you absolutely must. But you don’t share your life story in the line at Walmart; and you don’t cry on the cashier’s counter top. When this occurs most people will tell you to start seeing a shrink, it’s true, I speak from live experience. God always has a sense of humor though. Once again, He decided it was time for a change in my outlook.

Here at CIT training, life story-telling is quite the event. You prepare by making a chart, playing paper-rock-scissors for who must go first, and then you began. They bring their lunches and sit in circles eagerly waiting to hear your history. This is where God got my attention, because I was vastly against sharing anything vulnerable. And as He humbled me to the ground, I realized how selfish I was. I was refusing to tell not my story but God’s story of my life. For I have done nothing and neither has anything ever occurred that God has not written in my life’s story book. He writes using a pencil with no eraser, for He makes no mistakes. He is the author and all the glory goes to Him.

I am not sure whether or not the culture of Uganda is prone to sharing or being vunerable personality wise. But I know that God has taught me to open my life to those around me; so that He might be glorified through it.

Wearing an Apron

2007-09-17T17:53:00.000-07:00

So, tonight I was in charge of preparing a meal for eight people. When I learned that I was responsible for this task, imagine how panicked I was. I am not a cook, I don't pretend to be at all. And to top it all, it was supposed to be a meal from Uganda. Well, by a miracle, I found a recipe online. This is what we ate: white rice topped by a chicken curry dish made with spices and coconut. Then there were choices to put fresh pineapple, tomatoes, raisins, cranberrys, or coconut - on top of the rice and chicken curry. It turned out amazing with side dishes of fresh bread, salad, and chocolate chip cookies. I was so relieved.

The guests we had over was a couple from my training institution. They are both counselours. I have not met with her but I have met with Jim. What an amazing blessing it is to have strong Christians who can guide and counsel me as I struggle to stand by God's grace. At dinner, they shared the path that has led them here and their time over in France as missionaries. I pray that as I grow, I will have some of the confidence, strength, courage, happiness, and love that they show in every expression.

I have homework that I must get to tonight but I have a quick prayer request. I have been allowing myself to get distracted quite frequently in the past week by silly things, ie. boys. I know I just heard at least three of you *gasp*. I have been getting wrapped up in the "he-likes me, he doesn't like me" game and I really am embarrassed to admit it. I have not been finishing simple things that I need to get done. Please pray that I will re-align my priorities.

Spiritual War

2007-09-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

For the past two days our class focus has been on spiritual warfare. A week ago, I hardly knew anything in detail about this topic. I know that we are in God's army and a spiritual war is going around us at all times. But honestly, I don't think it was ever really a part of my life. I have never stopped and realized that I was not only in the United States military but more importantly - I am a soldier for God. I have always fought with my human flesh but Satan and his attacks have never been a part of my awareness. I learned a lot from today's study, didn't agree with it all but am determined to begin fighting more fervently by the power of Christ and with the protection of the Holy Spirit. I pray that God can use me in Africa to do some major damage in this spiritual war by sharing His love and protection to those in need.

Who needs martial arts skills when I have the armor of the Lord?? Ephesians 6:10-11, "Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."

Friendships begin to Blur

2007-09-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that from moving around so often as I grew up - I have developed a survival method. This is called "When the Friendships begin to Blur". As I get ready to move, I often draw away from my loved ones, some times getting grouchy with them to ease it; and I search for new people to replace them so I feel nothing when I leave them completely. I have observed that if I can walk away before they have a chance to walk away from me...I feel as if I have prevented greater pain. The worry about being replaced or not missed, consumes my mind. So, I search for new people to fill the void. I noticed today as I laughed with the people here at training, I was begining the process. I found someone new that I look up to for advice, I found a new dorm mate to share my spontaneous ideas with, I found new kids that I think are so adorable, I found someone to work out with, and I found a new home to call my home. The minute I realized what I had done...I panicked. I don't want to walk away or forget my friends and loved ones. But it has happened so many times in the past and I have allowed it. I pray the Lord will keep my heart open to those I love so dearly. Help me to trust.

"And friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them. And a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. Though its hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know, that a lifetimes not too long to live as friends." Michael W. Smith

Butter Put to the Bike

2007-09-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

Today we learned that there are 5 things that you should say to a loved one before leaving:

1) Goodbye

2) I love you
3) Thank you

4) Forgive me

5) I forgive you

Hearing this was a true test for me. I never thought that by surrending to serve the children over in Africa that I would also be called to resolve the personal grudges in my life. I know we shouldn't hold onto grudges and yet it seems so easy to do when you have been hurt. Ephesians 6:21, "do not let the sun go down on your anger". Please pray that the Lord will give me a humble heart to forgive those who have hurt me and to ask for forgiveness from those I have wronged.

On another note, I was told that in this garage-like room were a whole bunch of extra bikes. Well, I made up my mind that today was the day for a bike ride. I hesistantly stepped into the pitch black garage to discover there were no over head lights. As I stumbled around, getting captured by spider webs, I finally found a worthy looking bike. I brought it outside and pumped up the tires. I proceeded to get on the bike only to find out that the chain was so rusty it wouldn't turn. I dragged it over to my dorm determined that I was going to make this work. A dorm mate suggested that I use vegetable oil. I raced inside but could only find Pam butter spray. With the bike turned over, we continually sprayed the chain with tons of Pam. By the end, the bike worked but smelled so terrible. And then the bugs came. I couldn't help but laugh and go on my bike ride anyway. Here are some of the pictures that I took while on my bike ride. It was beautiful.

Emergency Email

2007-09-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

Received email:

"katy,
This is an emergency email. Get yourself back to Annapolis immediately. Russell Crowe is there making a movie!!!!!! I know he will want to know how I am doing.
Gramma"

I received this from my gramma this afternoon and realized it was crucial that I hurry back to Annapolis.

Come on In

2007-09-08T17:42:00.000-07:00

I was reading another blog and saw they had posted a little video of their domain. And thinking..."hmm, what a fabulous idea". I decided to do the same for ya'll to see. Welcome to my room at CIT, NC.

The Wild vs. Me

2007-09-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

I was writing this to Shelly this morning and thought I would share with you all also.

I am sitting near my window and the sun is just peaking through...tempting me to go outside for my morning devotions. I am resisting the urge because the gigantic killer mosquitoes and I are at war up here. So far, they have managed to land eight different blows on my legs. If I suddenly loose all contact with you...know that I fought a good fight but the mosquitoes won the war.

We have no TV or many other American pleasures (thought internet is a must have). I go to class all day, dinner, HW, and then I go for a run down the trails. I love to run in the heat and all...but man oh man, my legs are not used to all the hills here! I conquer one hill just to be faced with the next one. I had to carry a large stone rock as my weapon yesterday because there were two enormous pit-bull dogs. Yes, they were chained up but the chains looked ready to snap. I tried to tell myself that 1) I could out run them or 2) I could take them on with my bare hands and awesome material arts skills....but then reality hit and I picked up a large stone. = )

We are having a potluck dinner tomorrow night. I signed up to bring the plates and cups. As most of you know, I am not the best cook.

His way of speaking

2007-09-06T10:08:00.001-07:00

Amazing how God speaks to us and teachs us what He wants us to learn. Today we were study a reading that tells us that God is not only using us to help and share the gospel with others but He is also making a change within us.

I was so wrapped up with helping others and being a missionary to others that I didn't stop for one second to think about the change and growth that needed to take place within my own life. I realize that I needed this mission trip as much as the people who I will be helping.

I have met some wonderful people here who are dedicating their lives to the mission field. I am so jealous of their calling and yet at the same time scared. I am scared that as much as I love the academy and my life style here...I will get to Uganda and fall in love with the children and ministering to them. I almost want to hold myself back from falling in love with them so the decision about what to do after my year there will be easier. Part of me longs God to call me there full time and the other part is so so scared that He will and I will have to give up everything.

Battling with God

2007-09-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

I am really struggling with the Lord right now. I know without a doubt that He wants me to serve Him in Uganda but I don't what to be a missionary who says all the right words and seems so close in her walk with God and yet it is all just a show. I want to be filled with His presence and words and truly serve Him.

I feel like God has/is stripping the things and people I love from my life so I have nothing to turn to but Him and I am still fighting Him on it. It is almost as if I resent Him for taking the people and things I love out of my life and making me focus just on Him. How silly, stupid, and completely awful of me. With all the change and everything new in my life, I get so lonely sometimes...and God has been teaching me to open my heart to Him and the new people He has brought into my life. I don't know how to open up to all these strangers. I love there passion and drive and yet I feel like I can't be myself. Please pray that God would teach me to be open hearted.

Magic School Bus

2007-09-03T14:33:00.001-07:00

I have to wear skirts the whole time I am in Africa because that is what is culturally acceptable. Well for those who know me...this is no problem because being a girly-girl, I love wearing skirts. I decided to sew most of the skirts to: 1) save money 2) be able to donate them to the village girls when I leave. While I was at the fabric store to get material...I decided I would only use crazy fabulous material. I figured the children would love it (real reason: katy would love it). So I have begun with materials covered in planets, bugs, bright colors, big poka dots, and butterflies. My sister informs me that with my red hair, crazy outfits, and as a teacher - I have officially become the teacher from the Magic School Bus books, Ms. Frizzle.

I would argue this point but she is always right. = )

God provides

2007-09-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

How amazing is God. I have been saving every penny and praying hard that God would provide. There have been days when I have been discouraged and doubted that the money would be there. And yesterday, I received a huge gift from a dear loved one. I was blown away by the way God was using those around me to provide. I still have a ways to go but I am at my half point mark, praise the Lord!

Fair Fun

2007-08-28T05:47:00.000-07:00

I am up in New York at my mom's house for one more week. I have been working for the past five weeks at the race track, saving all my pennies. This Sunday I leave for Union Mills, North Carolina. I will be living there through October 5th, taking cross cultural classes.

My mom and two little brothers took me to the county fair last night. It was so much fun to take a night to just go have fun. I hadn't been to a fair since I was eleven. And most importantly, my mom and I took on the task of tackling a gigantic elephant ear. Didn't even hesistate, we ate it all like champs! We visited the cows, rode all the rides, and played the games. Fabulous!

Fundraising has been going ok. I struggle with my pride. It is hard for me to ask my friends and family for help raising the money. But God has been providing for me. I ask for your prayers, that He would give me a humble heart and a grateful spirit.

Saying Goodbye

2007-07-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

First, we started as scared little plebes who knew absolutely nothing. Now we have become close confident friends who still know absolutely nothing. = ) God has blessed me with the most amazing friends from the Naval Academy. And saying goodbye to them was very hard. We had an "outstanding" time going out together for my 21st birthday / leaving get together. I will forever have a mental image of Kes curled up on Chaps side walk. And though the balloon monkey from gramps started out a little obscene...it ended up one of my favorite presents! And Jess in her cute girly dress, that I tried to help pick out but she ended up finding all on her own! What awesome friends. I conveniently left out all mention of how I did on my 21st Birthday get together...simply said, I giggle way too much.

Ending & Beginning

2007-07-06T22:19:00.001-07:00

So the decision has been made and I informed my chain of command this week. It was such a scary step for me to do. So final. I am so excited and yet frightened. I long to dive into this journey and just fill my heart and life with everything to do with serving. I know it sounds funny but I have a craving to help.

I can't wait to work with the children of Africa and just love them. I don't expect to be some super hero to them...I just want to offer my love. I pray that God will help me offer something.

It will take me three weeks to sign out of the Academy. Pushing pause on one important and huge part of my life and pressing play to a surprise chapter in my life. I will try to daily update my process.

Background

2007-04-16T16:04:00.000-07:00

I first felt God calling me to Africa my freshman year at the United States Naval Academy during a tour of the Holocaust museum in DC. As I read of the genocide taking place through out Africa, my heart was drawn toward the suffering children. I longed to share with them the security, belonging, and love that God gave me when He came into my life at twelve years old, as I was suffering from a torn family. God healed my heart and brought me into the family of Christ. The more I read about the children in Africa, who have been orphaned due to genocide, civil war, and AIDS, the more I crave to share God’s gift with them. He has placed inside me a passion to go and bear His fruit to the children in need of hope and His saving grace. I am finishing my second year at the Naval Academy, and plan on taking a year off starting this fall to go and heed God’s call for me in Africa. I have prayed extensively over this decision and trust that God will help me with the process.